Charismatic leaders radiate power and attractiveness. You can feel their vitality, dedication, and ability to connect with others. By their mere presence, charismatic leaders inspire others and bring out their best work. This quality is especially important for coaches. Coaches need to be respected by the powerful executives they coach. Leaders size people up in a few seconds. You need to pass this instant appraisal every time.
Most clients could use more charisma, and that makes your having it doubly important. It’s difficult to teach and attribute to your client that you do not demonstrably possess yourself.
Many people believe charisma is an innate gift, something we are born with – you either possess it or you don’t. But being charismatic is not a matter of genetics.
In truth, it’s a personal attribute that you can learn and develop. To learn it, we need to unpack and demystify it. This tip and the one that follows will help you increase the positive impact of your presence. If you use these tips, I guarantee you will be more charismatic. For an excellent book on this subject, read Olivia Fox Cabane’s: The Charisma Myth.
The meaning of our communication is not solely its content, not just the information we intend to convey. Its full meaning is the response we elicit in others. And if we want to elicit useful responses in other people, we need to make a strong non-verbal connection. Why? Because many studies demonstrate it’s our body language, tone of voice, and non-verbal rhythms of interaction that predict the outcome of our communication – not the literal words we speak.
Tips for Charismatic Connection
In meetings with others, one-on-one:
1. Match their posture – they will perceive you are like them, and therefore, friendly.
2. Get in synch with their rhythms of movement – they will feel you are responsive to them.
3. Speak in a tempo that matches the rhythm of their vocal cadences – they will unconsciously sense you are in synch with how they express their thoughts.
4. Listen attentively. Rather than preparing your response while they are talking, take in what they say.
But to use all these skills with maximum impact (and your own enjoyment)…
5. Drop into a state of deep listening in which you give your listener undivided attention. For instructions on Deep Listening or to download the file, click here.
To listen now to the instructions on Deep Listening, start the audio player.